~ Fall from grace as I offer you sin ~

meme! :D

2008-06-03T08:13:58Z

sooo... after some pretty long absence from lj I'm back ;)
and obviously I start with a meme ;D

song meme
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) five songs that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

stellaluna_ gave me the letter S.

1. Sentaku no asa - Aya

My mama and daddy
They want me to be strong
I think I finally feel the same way
To murder or Mother
Give you death, give you life?
You know I’m just...

2. Shadow of the moon - Blackmore's Night

In the shadow of the moon,
She danced in the starlight
Whispering a haunting tune
To the night...

3. Self deception - Lacuna Coil

I played the part and took the blame
while you pretend nothing is real
life turned to night as you're asleep
blood flowing down, is this a dream?

4. Simple things - Mandalay

The simple things
The time reveals
Will heal your mind
In simple things
The time reveals
You will be mine

5. Syrah - Subway to Sally

Ich hör sie rufen
Ich kann sie hörn

Flow my tears fall from your springs
Exil'd for ever let me mourn
Where night's black bird her sad infamy sings
There let me live forlorn

Memories?

2007-11-10T11:46:56Z

stolen from sithandra
>> If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad. I promise not to claw you to shreds!
When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you <<

lithianne @ 2007-09-23T20:22:00

2007-09-23T18:23:12Z

~ Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken ~

Maunz =°-°=

2007-09-18T18:27:32Z

So...I'm back from an awesome weekend with Funghi, Chibi, Bea, Vanny, Thilo, Jensi, Vroni, .... yeah well...you get the idea, lots of ni~~~~ce ppl :3 (and my bro's kinda right, most nicks end on an "i" O-o)
I watched a few episodes of Gargoyles with Chübilein (the love *o*) and I wanna watch the whole series again ToT
hooray for nostalgia XD
and when everyone else left saturday night, from funghi's belated birthday party, Funghi, Bea, Vanny and I talked 'til almost 6 am XD
literally about "Gott und die Welt" *chuckles*
(down with the "Checka-Kindaz" >____<)
I woke up at 10 am and we had breakfast together and then Funghi and her dad drove me to the train station which is where the horrors of my weekends always begin >-<

I felt like an anchovie in a tin on friday, when I took the train to Augsburg. The train was already full of ppl when it stopped at our station and there were "a lot" of ppl waiting for this train.
I thought "Omg, what if I can't get in!?!?" but...I squeezed in somehow. I had to stand for over an hour and since there were so many ppl I couldn't even really move my feet. >_> (Meine Fußsohlen sind eingeschlafen XD)
And there were TWO whole school classes in there with lots of stupid girls and guys and fucking too loud music for a train... there's something like headphones, ne? But I guess they never heard of something like that.
But ok... in the train from Augsburg to Nürnberg I "bought" a seat with a drawing XD
Well she'd have let me sit there anyway but asked if I could draw something for her when I sat there sketching away on my notepad ^^
for the last 15 minutes I talked to the girl next to me, kinda nice. :3
But... compared to the train-ride back the full trains were still bearable.
Some stupid idiot sat down next to me and kept laughing to himself, shouting through the train and SINGING! I mean... if he had had a nice voice or something...but... I'm not even sure you could call that singing >____<
and he tried to talk to me the whole time.
Besides... I'm not REALLY fond of ppl adressing me with "Sie" but that guy just...*urgh* I mean I'm old enough to get a little more respect from some stranger. I'm not a fucking KID and he sure as hell wasn't my age... more like... two or three times my age =_=
and...an hour or so later, he went out to get a smoke (he had the cigarette in hand for almost 15 minutes before that and I was JUST waiting for him to try and smoke in the train, I would have enjoyed chewing his head off for it -.-*****) and a lot of ppl got in at that station.
and I was like "Omg PLEASE let someone take his place.". And yeah, there was that couple that sat down. So... when he came in...he sat beside me instead of across facing me T_T
I tried to ignore him most of the time. And sometime between Donauwörth and Buchloe, he turned his back towards us (the couple and me) and the woman made a pumpgun-gesture at his back and I said something like "It's been like this since Augsburg" and she just went "OmG, REALLY? But yeah well... there have to be idiots to show us that at least we are "normal"!" XD
And later-on that guy tried to start a fight with the guy of that couple. Luckily he got out at Buchloe, I got this kinda sympathetic smile from the old lady who sat in the couple of seats across the corridor when he finally got up and left.
But yeah... I'd have liked to just smash his head in >_>
Besides that I got home ok, with no delay and yeah...
Got home, got something to eat and went to bed after watching a bit TV ( was so~~ tired ~_~)
(Sorry übrigens, dass dich am Sonntag nimmer angerufen hab Süße >___>)

And I phoned the guy from the company where I tried to get a "trainee position" (dunno what you call it in English)
and...he wasn't there =_=
So... I have to try again tomorrow. I really really really hope I'll get my answer tomorrow...and that it'll be a positive one X|

Let's play a game of tag!

2007-08-21T18:41:34Z

O~~~~k X3
so... I got tagged by sithandra, even if I, up until now, had absolutely no idea what that means, bu~~~t yeah XD

→ pick your birth month.
→ strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
→ bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
→ copy to your own journal, with all the twelve months unter a lj-cut.
→ tag twelve people from your friends list.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. ~~Attractive~~. Suave and caring. ~~Brave and fearless.~~ ~~Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others.~~ ~~Too generous and egoistic~~. ~~Takes high pride in oneself~~. Thirsty for praises. ~~Extraordinary spirit.~~ Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. ~~Learns to relax~~. ~~Hasty and trusty.~~ Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. </b>Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention.
Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation ??. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

And I tag:
whoever reads this and feels like leaving a comment X3

Anger management...

2007-06-26T12:47:41Z

I'm just so PISSED OFF at the moment!
One should think, people who're dealing with "art" on an every-day basis SHOULD have learned to be a BIT more careful with it than THAT.
I really don't know any insult that seems to encompass all of my feelings toward these...these... fu**ing stupid and absolutely *gaah* people -.-*
Oh, I got the package with my portfolio, everything pretty much ok...I mean, I already thought it had a dog-ear and was a bit grumpy. But when I unwrapped the thing... I was... no... I AM just really really pissed off.
They got my pictures WET! I could've...just... strangled someone!
AND I know that it wasn't even the bloody mail's fault. Cause the wrapping paper definitley wasn't wet.... ever...
Which just means that those people at that arts school screwed it up -.-*
Half of the pictures looked as if I could just burn them.
I tried to iron them. It's kinda ok now... but most of them still won't be going into another portfolio. >_<
OH and not only did someone along the way SOAK them, no, they were even too stupid to put them back into the portfolio without getting a few crumpled at the corners -.-*

Jingle bells, jingle bells...

2007-06-17T19:20:31Z

...jingle all the way. *sing*
Ceren's fault! Everything... really ! XD
Like... watching Sailor Moon... singing Jingle Bells in summer or Beatles songs... and eating croquettes with nutella for breakfast.

I was kinda scary, back when I was still a fan ._.
It's what I thought while watching SM. 'Cuz honestly, I'd die from all the sugary-pink romance-shit going on in that series if I'd ever watch all of it again.
and... I'm quite the masochist for doing exactly that XD (And, my dear bestest half, you are so going to suffer with me, shouldn't have mentioned that you never watched Sailor Moon... *fg*)
But this is so... nostalgic. It's a bit like when I played Secret of Evermore with my cousin not so long ago... and after that we started to play Ultima 8. Digging up old things (TV series, books, games, music...) seems to be my theme for this half of the year. X3

So...what I actually wanted to write: All of my portfolios are where they're supposed to be.
And the Augsburger campus actually looked pretty nice. When I went to Mannheim I thought that I'd get lost on their campus. Didn't feel comfy at all. But in Augsburg I felt as if I could actually get used to it pretty fast.
But... yeah well... I still have to see how things turn out.
And I don't know how often we (Ceren and me) said how much we hate to ride the train on Friday. The DB screws up almost every time. I mean, we were already late when our train left the station in Augsburg. Which obviously means that the next train we'd have had to take had already left when we arrived at the station. But yeah... same old... >_>

And I couldn't sleep in on Saturday :(
We drove to Stuttgart to visit my sis. Or it was more like: to go shopping for my cousin's wedding.
Well... I discovered that I should pick things for my mom to try on. It's just so much easier. XD (and I don't have to spend so much time on shopping this way.)
And it's just SO like us (my sis and me) to buy ice-cream just to discover, that we need a SPOON to eat said ice-cream, hence having to buy a spoon. Yeah. We bought a spoon so we could eat the ice-cream we bought. ^^*
I wanted to write more about Stuttgart but somehow I forgot everything I had in mind. ._.

lithianne @ 2007-06-08T11:20:00

2007-06-08T10:02:54Z

So... this is it.
Turned down by Stuttgart and Braunschweig.
Still have to get my portfolio for Augsburg and Nürnberg ready, send them in...
My mom telling me I should think of a different thing to do...
But honestly...it's not the first time I've been trying to think of something else and there's just one thing I'm good at...seems I'm not even good at that though. And I don't even know why this is getting to me so much... I'm quite the pessimist, I've been half-expecting this. And still...yeah...

lithianne @ 2007-05-30T18:24:00

2007-05-30T17:15:45Z

So~~ ... I haven't been on lj in quite a while.
In fact not even on the PC for like...dunno... 2-3 weeks?
And so...I don't really know where to start.
Beginning with the good things and ending with the bad stuff I guess, since that's what I feel fits my mood best at the moment.

I got my Supernatural Season 1 DVD-package like... a few weeks ago and watched from episode 11 onwards with my sister... the day I got it XD
We were up 'til 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning and if something like a holographic TV existed(ye know, like the holograms in Star Trek?) Dean and the Impala would've been covered in drool x3
I want that guy and the car *_* (wanna drive with stick though... don't like the automatic stuff *shudders*)
Really... Sometimes I think I'm too easily satisfied.
Like... I was SO happy when the DVDs arrived by mail. I had been watching the door... for a whole of two days, just waiting for the hermes-guy to come by. *_*
And then...my mom opened the door and brought the package in and I was bouncy and giddy and oh-so-happy XD
Yeah... it's really easy to make me happy....sometimes... ^^*

AND there's my newly-planned trip to Kassel :3
I'm so looking forward to it. ^__^

And that's where the big surprise comes in.
I'm invited to my cousins' wedding ._.*
I dunno how that happened. I mean... we're not close or anything, and I thought that they'll invite my parents, but I didn't think they'd invite me, since... yeah...we hardly ever talk... we never talked much anyway. I mean... when my sis used to hang out with her I was like... pretty young... or let's say... it was this "I-would-never-hang-out-with-my-sister" kinda time... I mean... my sis being 7 years older... you don't hang out with you're 10-year-old sister when you're 17, ne?
But back to the wedding. So... I was really surprised when she and her fiancee came by and brought the invitation, and it was like... our whole family being included in the invitation.

And I was in Stuttgart with my sis. Getting my portfolio and the application-forms to the Arts school.
they were....quite chaotic.... when we arrived there someone told us that I HAD to do the online-application-stuff. Which they DIDN'T say on their homepage. It said that you COULD use the online-application-form, but you didn't have to. And suddenly you have to... they could've had it a lot easier if they wrote so on their homepage. People could've gotten in, handed their portfolios over and left if it wasn't for that stupid online-application.
Yeah well... I handed it in and that was it. Not without getting sick from having to run around in the rain cuz I had to let some more pictures of me made for the application-form, since mine were to BIG. >_>
I mean... why do they want to have pictures in a passport-picture-size instead of the ones you usually have for applications? Huh?
STU-PID
So yeah... after the whole application-scenario we wen't shopping XD
Paper... and....paper...and some more paper...
for my OTHER portfolios.
Our bags weighed like... three times as much when we went back home by train, as when we went to Stuttgart ^^*

So...I caught a cold that day. Which was GREAT really... cuz singing is SO much fun when you're throat hurts and you can't really breath through your nose... yeah... nice >_>
But... I got better in time...for..
The festival *_*
We have this medieval-kinda festival all 5 years in our village.
and yeah... that was last weekend.
And my sis, a few cousins, my bro's girlfriend, a friend of mine and me, we chose a few "medieval" songs which we wanted to play/sing at the festival.
Too bad that the only day we could've performed was the day which went down the drain weather-wise. Too wet, too cold and stuff... yeah.... :/
So... in the end it was pretty much for nothing ^^*
And I got to kiss a stranger... hohoho >_>
I had to go on stage during the performance of a...artistic-comedy-like duo .-.
And I really am TOO well-mannered to step on other ppl O_o
I had to stand on one of the guys' chest while he was lying on glass-shards.
I just wanted to get off him... really... I absolutely didn't like it. Though I must have looked pretty funny, since my friends were pretty much just amused *drop*
And after that he wanted me to give him a peck on the cheek. So yeah...I thought... "ok" and while I was doing so, he turned his head. I quote: "You looked like a deer caught in the headlights." And she'll never let me hear the end of it, right, my love? X3

So... that was the "good" stuff.
Now to the rather bad things.
I got an answer from the university in Mannheim.
They turned me down. I only had 1.6 points... and would've had to have 6 to get invited to the exam.
Yeah... It just felt like my wishes turned to dust.
I mean... I did expect to be turned down, but not with such a bad mark.
it was...kinda... sobering I guess. :/
I really don't feel too optimistic about the rest of my applications.
Which leads to the next bad news.
I'll have to work approximately 9.5 hours a day for the next 13 days to be able to turn in the last 2 portfolios.
So wish me luck X3
And yeah.
That's why I feel kinda down. I'm worried that I won't be able to start at a university this year. And I'm not too fond of the idea of having to wait for another year.
And even less fond of the idea that maybe it won't work next year either.
Cause I really don't know what I'll do if that's the case.
But yeah...
I guess that's it for now :/

And o~~~~n with the fangirling....

2007-04-16T20:47:44Z

Damn, I really love this movie. The Boondock Saints must be one of my all-time favourites.
Just now I'm watching it for... like... the 15th time? XD
I can NEVER get enough of Connor and Murph *_*
They're eyecandy... which is still rather an understatement.
I think of all the movies I ever watched, this is the only one I'll still love after the 100th time. And I can't even say what about it I love so much. Sure, those two alone would probably make me watch it over and over again, cuz honestly... so HOT! XD
But it's funny like... I can never get enough of the rope-scene XD
it's SO hilarious. Or the thing with the cat? Almost laughing my ass off everytime. (yeah, I have a mean an morbid sense of humour, but who cares? *g* Ein Männlein steht im Walde... *sing*)
I just love it. Period.
I guess that sums it up best XD
But I have to say one thing: watching it in English is difficult. Really... I mean...they're dialect/accent (?) is SEXY, but... difficult to understand =_=
If I didn't know that movie by heart I'd probably have a lot of difficulties with understanding what they'Re saying.
And I love they're tats *_* *melts*

Besides... there's something about the "religion"-parts that just facinates me. I mean... I'm not a believer, but any form of religion and the fanatism that comes with it is fascinating. What ppl believe or are kinda "made" to believe... it's just... yeah well...interesting ^^*
(btw. I'm not trying to offend anyone with this. I just don't believe in the stuff, you can believe whatever you want ppl. I'm not telling you what to believe and you're not telling me what to believe and we're fine.)

So~~~... what else to tell... not much I guess XD
I've been doing pretty much nothign besides doing stuff for my portfolios and helping my sis at putitng our songs for the middle-ages festival together ^^
oh yeah...and buying fabric for the dresse *fufufufu* I'll so LOVE my dress X3

yaw~~~~~~~n

2007-04-09T21:19:46Z

I'm really really rea~~~~~lly tired right now =_=
And can't quite bring myself to go to bed to sleep ^^*
Do you know how LONG a day can be, when you...like...get up at 7 or 8 a.m. and go to bed at like.. 2 a.m.? XD
It's amazing .__.
And BORING O_O I mean... you never get the things you want to do done, but still... you're like... bored half of the day .-.

the last few days have been fun... kinda ^^*
been at my relatives and well... I did... nothing XD
ok... I took a few pictures of the landscape up there... but yeah... that's about it.
besides that I've been playing snes rpgs/computer games with my cousin...almost all of the time ^^*
OLD games XD
rediscovered so much awesome games from way~~~~ back XD
like... Pagan - Ultima 8
or Hanse
or Secret of Evermore
or Golden Axe (damn, I really loved to play this game with my brother...now I don't even really know how to move the character and die after the 2nd enemy XD)
or OMF
it's still one of my favourites and I really don't know why
cuz really... it's just a 2D beat-the-hell-out-of-the-other-robot kinda game ^^*
with almost no to no plot... and my pinky kinda makes weird things after I played... scary XD
yeah... that's the sleeplessness (is that even an english word? O_o) speaking here.
what I write makes almost no sense at all...but yeah X3
who cares? ^^*

so... I'll drag myself to bed now and...yeah..try to sleep X3

blah...

2007-03-28T20:03:05Z

I'm kinda depressed right now.
And don't ask why, I dunno... I just AM.
And there I was all happy-go-lucky just this afternoon.
Really... I wonder why the best days make me depressed?
There's no real reason for this. And I hate it.
I really do.
I don't understand and I hate it. ._.

Yeah well...
I hope I'll finish my dress this weekend.
And I don't really know what to write right now.
so... that's it >_>

meow =^_^=

2007-03-18T10:56:17Z

So...
My PC has SOUND!
How awesome is that, huh? XD
Since we finally figured out that my soundcard probably messed up my whole software when we formatted and reinstalled, I had no sound.
No music, no in-game sounds, NOTHING.
Couldn't even use Skype 'cuz...yeah. No sound. You get the picture... X3
So... my sis came home on Friday and brought a new soundcard with her. And she bought a cute little black sheep-soap for me *___*
Will I get greyish lamb-soap if I put my white and my black next to each other? XD

And back to the sound. I can plug in my sound at the front panel :O
I could never do that. My old tower didn't even HAVE something like that.
The wonders you get to see. XD

And since my PC's fully working now, I will indulge myself in watching Farscape the next week. Drooling over Aeryn and Crichton in their nice leather outfits... *_* *harr*
I just love that show.
And eventually I'll get myself around to watching NCIS Season 4 in English... I hope... X3
I would actually really like to buy the DVDs but... they're SO expensive O_o
You get only half a season for the money you have to pay for one whole season of other series.
And that's something...well...I don't really understand it.
I would buy a lot more DVDs if I found the prizes to be acceptable.
But I can buy like... 5-6 books instead of one season NCIS and it would probably still be cheaper.
And it'll keep me entertained for weeks instead of just days *shrugs*
I'm more of a paper-collecting person I guess. Considering that I have like... 10 DVDS? and 221 manga plus a nice amount of books... yeah...well ^^*
I love my books and my manga. And I really need more room for 'em >_>
A new shelf would be really nice. *_*

Tomorrow they'll pull out the stitches. *shudders*
It's the worst part U_u
But at least I'll be able to eat normally in 2 or 3 days... I hope ^^*

YES!

2007-03-13T18:35:33Z

*chuckles* IT'S ALIVE!
What is, you ask?
My PC is! *snuggles up to her beloved grey box*
*mahahaha* I just LOVE my brother for this.
I don't say this often (more like...never? ._.), 'cause most of the time we're annoying the hell out of each other and he probably wouldn't appreciate it very much if I glomped him and said "I love you~~~" *laughs at the mental image* X3
Ok...update... I don't love him as much as just 1 minute ago >_>
telling me to tidy up my room *shakes head* tsktsk...

But yeah. My PC is healthy and up and working, so: =^________^=

I'm really not THAT happy right now...
I mean... ok... my PC's not as dead as I thought... but... I can't go to Kassel.
All plans canceled *sighs*
Guess it'll be easter holidays at my relatives instead.
Such a shame >_>
And I don't know what's the "sadest" part in this. The fact that I won't be seeing her or the reasons why I'm not gonna visit her.
Really... there always seems to be something that makes me give up my plans... first the LBM, now Kassel.
And I know, we BOTH really wanted to meet.
But yeah... some other time I guess *shrugs*

And there's still the thing wiht my teeth. I think it's better with these 2 than with the last 2. Less pain and stuff... But it's still annoying >_>

Evolution...

2007-03-12T15:35:25Z

... should've really gotten rid of the stupid wisdom teeth. I'm so envious of some of my friends...who like... have only 2 of those stupid things T_T
Why do I have to have 4, huh? Why do I have to have 'em at all? >_>
Life would be nice if one didn't have to get rid of em... and no... mine could not just grow normally, like good little teeth should, no, they have to be fu**ing CUT out of my mouth. ALL FOUR >_<
I really hate it. Yesterday I was still like... "Well, no way around it, it's not THAT bad." And yeah, it's all nice and good as long as the "Ohhh my lips and cheek are all numb and I don't feel them at all"-feeling is still there, but after that? >_>
Well... my lip IS still numb (and honestly? at the moment it doesn't even feel as if I'm gonna feel my lip anytime soon) but not the cuts. What really drives me mad about this is, that it doesn't hurt one time and is over with, but that it's this constant dull aching and you can do absolutely nothing about it (ok, I COULD get a handfull of those pain meds...but, I hate to take meds in general and really, it's not that I'm in much pain, the whole feeling is just...maddening -.-*).
Oh, and let's not forget the prospect of eating well... soup, soup and.. guess what, soup! for the next 4 or 5 days.
Perhaps a bit mashed potatoes in between and if I'm really lucky I'll be eating, oh wow, mashed apples by tomorrow!
And the best about it? It'll all hurt. Not much... but enough to make me go crazy >_>
And honestly. What IS it about my lip? Why is it still numb... completely numb. I got the shot like... almost 6 hours ago and everything else is back to normal. Well... as normal as it can be with like...8-10 friggin' stitches in my mouth.
In 2 days I'll probably look as if I got into a fight with someone, 'cuz of a nice~~~~ bruise surfacing on my jaw.
Atm I feel as if i really did get into a fight .__.*
Ahh... I almost forgot to mention one great part of the whole thing. My brother's home. Yay!
Up until now he had been, well... ok.
Almost nice, even.
But... this also means that I won't be able to go online for..like.. the next week? Dunno how long he'll stay, but since my PC's dead and the other one's in his room (and he'll need it to study for his exams, too) I'm lucky to be able to write this entry.
Which ALSO means, that I don't have much that'll keep me occupied and therefor distracted.
Oh, the fun in all of this ^___^

And I didn't get one seam further with my dress. >_>
Well... at least my picture "Heaven's a lie" is almost finished.
If I can bring myself to do anything other than watching TV today, it might be done tomorrow... finally ^^*
AND NCIS was really inspiring yesterday. Even if I watched only half of the episode yesterday...and I didn't even like it (4x02) BUT Tony's totally... ahh... I don't even know what to call the look on his face. It was...a..I dunno... I thought it was a torn look.
Like... as if he wasn't quite sure if he should be happy that Gibbs is back or if he should be angry. (slash-fangirlish: cuz he left without properly saying goodbye and without staying in contact with Tony and stuff. normal ppl's view: 'cuz he came back just like that and taking the team from Tony)
And it made me want to draw Tony. But of course I didn't draw him in the end but something not-so-totally different, but different enough. And I also was inspired by a FF-title: "Where angels fear to tread" by lila-blue.
Well...yeah...that's that. Enough of my whining and rambling X3

Damn...

2007-03-06T22:33:49Z

Really... sometimes I think I'm such an emo-bitch.

I always thought I was good at supressing certain feelings and/or memories.
Or rather... I always thought I could take a lot friendship-wise and be still standing at the end of it.
Having had a lot of so-called friends who hurt me in one or another way should have numbed me, shouldn't it?
But, as in most of the cases where emotions are involved, I'm wrong.
I'm still angry at her. Or perhaps I'm hurt... I dunno... And the fact that I dunno if I'm hurt or angry or both and that I actually don't know why this is bothering me so much, really gets to me when I have to think about it.
I mean... it's not as if it was such a big thing, really. Not as if she was much different as any other time. She's just being herself, as always. And I goddamn know that we're both bitching and nagging and just... sometimes annoying the hell out of each other. But we have a lot of fun, too. And it wouldn't be as much fun if we didn't tease each other constantly.
But... sometimes she's just so... so... nonsensitive.
And I really, really don't know why this is getting to me this much. I keep telling myself that it wasn't that big of a thing.

------------------- back to the supressing-thing ---------------

So... I really got the darts finished... well... almost... have to iron some of 'em tomorrow morning, but the worst part is done and... the next annoying part has to be done tomorrow XD
But well... hopefully I'll be done with the dress in like... another week ^____^
And I really fell in love with the fabric *_*
Actually I probably just started sewing this 'cus I adore that fabric with it's awesome pattern *O* (yes, I am drooling over fabric... problems? X3)

Statement from a non-conform woman:
Going shopping is annoying -.-*
At least if you're actually looking for something >_>
You NEVER find what you're looking for. You should just like... go shopping when you don't need anything and feel like it. 'Cause you will most certainly find some really nice things, which you can buy and you'll be happy to have bought them.
BUT don't.ever.go.shopping.when.you're.actually.looking.for.something.
You will never find it. Or you will find it a year later, when you don't need/want it anymore.
I always thought that applied to clothes and shoes... but... I discovered it's the same with CD's <_<
I never thought I could be frustrated from wanting to buy a CD.
But obviously I can.
So... I'll either have to drive to another town or I'll have to order it in our nice little book store... don't even know if that's possible .__.*
Living in a small village really sucks sometimes... XO (No manga, no music, no cinema, and a bunch of really~~~ stupid ppl...)

Discoveries X3

2007-03-05T18:17:17Z

I should probably call this "The Week of rediscovered music and journal entries"

I honestly never thought that I could be a journal-writing blogging-kinda person X3
'Cause really, I'm just too lazy to do stuff like this on a regular basis, but well...
How wrong I was, huh? X3

So... seems as if I can forget my plans to go to the Leipziger Buchmesse.

Considering that I forgot completely that it'll be this month 'til Chübi reminded me, well...
I really wanted to go there. But... no cos, ~~still angry at Seddo~~ and most importantly: stupid dentist appointment >_<
I could probably get the rest resolved... but in no way will I be able to go to the LBM with either: a) a nice healing wound in my friggin' mouth or b) even more annoying THREADS in said wound.
Nice~~~ >_> (It's already annoying the hell outta me and the wisdom teeth aren't even out, yet )
I totally forgot to check if the appointment would clash with the LBM and now it's too late... besides I really have to get that done, can't wait much longer... and if I waited 'til after the LBM I'd have to wait 'til after easter (which is a no-do) as well since (attention, the following few sentences are not whining, but actually something which makes me happy and giddy and bouncing with anticipation XD) I'll be going to Kassel on the 31.3. or the 1.4. to visit my Blondes ^____________^
For a whole week of talking and having fun and fangirling over House MD amongst other stuff :3
I mean... ok... I'll have to sit in probably crowded trains for over 10 hours and have to change trains 4 times (ok, that's not that much) and the Deutsche Bahn will probably fuck up on the way, but honestly, to see her again is worth the trouble ^_^ (I can't believe that it's already almost half a year since I saw her the last time... but well... considering the last period between our meetings was like... 2 years, that's an improvement, isn't it? XD
Besides, it'll be only 6 hours for the way back, since my parents'll pick me up somewhere along the way ^-^ (visiting relatives over the easter holidays)

~(^-^)~ <(^-^<) <(^-^)> (>^-^)> ~(^-^)~

And now about the music again X3
Honestly, I never thought that the fact that my PC died on me would lead me to rediscover really awesome music *o*
I so totally forgot about Sentenced, well ok... not really forgot. But since I didn't have it on my HD anymore, I haven't listened to it in a long time... Must be..like... over 2 or 3 years since I last listened to it.
I found my Crimson-CD and I have to say... I totally adore this album <3 And the guys voice *___* Makes me shudder in a really good way ;) (I like this kinda raspy quality his voice has)
And I noticed how good the lyrics would be for songfics. *_*
If I just knew which pairings XD
Besides I'm having my writer's block thing again .____.*
*shrugs* well... it's good to listen to while reading stellaluna_ 's Mac/Danny fics (not that you really needed to intensify the angsty feeling you have while reading some of 'em, but well XD)
So... I don't really know which is my favourite song, but the two which definitely have the Ohrwurm-quality to 'em
are these:

Bleed In My Arms

No, you don't want me to be there
To kiss your eyes, caress your hair or kill that pain away
As pain is my companion, solitude my guide
Your sweet affection solely offers me a threat I cannot abide

Yet you'll lose yourself in me in me

Bleed in my arms wounds within
Fall from grace as I offer you sin
Sacrifice yourself so frail
This pseudo-love is as good as betrayal

So place your love in the palm of my hand
where temptation lies within that something you've yet to feel
And as I close my fist and awake your sleeping fears
Without forbearance I will quench my thirst of your crimson tears

You've lost yourself in me in me

Bleed in my arms wounds within
Fall from grace as I offer you sin
Sacrifice yourself so frail
This pseudo-love is as good as betrayal

Weep for promises which all died
A drop of tear for every lie
Love forever torn away
I am only to cherish your pain

I am only to cherish your pain

Killing Me Killing You

Baby, have you seen, there is a snake in our paradise
A serpent that's wriggling between us
and freezing our feelings to ice

And with each drop of blood we bleed because of this
something so precious dies and it feels it really is...

Killing Me Killing You
Killing all we have
As our loves wither away

Burning Me Burning You
Burning us to ash
Drowning us in a sea of flames

Darling, do you feel, there is a storm coming our way
The burning light between us is already starting to fade
The fire in our hearts is smothered by the rain
and the crimson flame of passion turns into something gray

And with each drop of blood our shattered hearts ever bleed
something so precious dies and is lost eternally

Killing Me Killing You
Killing all we have
As our loves wither away

Burning Me Burning You
Burning us to ash
Drowning us in a sea of flames

Each teardrop from your eyes
makes something inside me die
Each of these days that draws us part
takes a piece from my heart

Kill me kill me kill me again with your love
and chase the storm away
Bring me bring me bring me the end with your love
and haunt the demons away

Killing Me Killing You
Killing all we have
As our loves wither away

Burning Me Burning You
Burning us to ash
Drowning us in a sea of flames

Kill me kill me kill me again with your love
and chase the snake away
Bring me bring me bring me the end with your love
and haunt the serpent away

And I still hate darts. The darts on my dress are really,really,really annoying =_= (yes, whining about 'em again XD)
Hopefully I'll be done with them tomorrow. I should be... if I don't stop in the middle 'cause of my annoyance X3
The~~~n I'll be able to put it together :3

Edit/CSI:NY-fangirling: OMG Danny's THE love *_* It's so cute how he gets all jealous of Lindsay. I dunno what he says in English, but in German, he complains about Mac and Lindsay already calling each other by their first names (well, actually it's about adressing each other with "du" instead of "Sie" but since there's nothing like that in English... XD) when it took Danny 2 years to get this far with Mac *chuckles* It's just...SO uber-cute <3 I love him. You just have to see his smile and... *melts*

Flashback... or something

2007-03-04T19:50:22Z

So... I'm really argueing with myself right now.
Should I turn on the TV or not?
I saw a preview for the episode just like... an hour ago and it really made me tend to follow the "not"-part. It reminded of how strange the German voices are... Tony loses a lot of his charm through this... and like I said before...those clothes T_T
And there's still Jenny. I hate her, really. I so totally despise this character.
I mean, she has her good moments as well, but honestly, I can't bring myself to like her in any way. Shes annoying the hell outta me :/
And then of course, there's the thing with Gibbs not being there. >_>
Did I mention that he should keep the beard instead of that stupid mustache he'll be sporting as soon as he's back? (I mean, except for those other 500 times I complained about it, I didn't really mention it, right? X3)
He's so totally not Gibbs with that thing ._. I almost didn't recognize him...

Sometimes there are just some songs, which you can forget for a while, but they'll never really vanish from your memory. Some time or another they just resurface. You remember a bit of the lyrics and a bit of the melody and you can't leave it alone, til you heard the whole song again.
Yesterday I had, once again, this kind of experience. You try to find out which song it was and the title's at the tip of your tongue but you can't quite seem to grasp it. I was just lucky that I still knew which band it was.

I pulled a loose thread
I gathered you in
Discovered I could
A pivot for your sun

You invited me in
As if it's nothing
We tread on old ground
As if it's nothing now

It's like I hardly see the sky somedays
It's like you hardly said a word
It's like I hardly see the sky somedays
And i'd do better if I turned my head
Knowing you did

I wouldn't be here
If you could have said no
I wouldn't have come here
If ever I had known

It's like I hardly see the sky somedays
It's like you hardly said a word
It's like I hardly see the sky somedays
And I'd do better if I turned my head
Knowing you did

Knowing you called
Knowing you held her
Knowing you kissed
Knowing you did all this

It's like I hardly see the sky some days
It's like you hardly said a word
It's like I hardly see the sky somedays
And I'd do better if I turned my head
Knowing you did.

I was listening to it since yesterday evening, over and over again and I just had to think about the time during which I used to listen to it.

It's quite a bit that happened back then.
I "lost" some people I called friends, even though in hindsight I have to say they probably never were REAL friends.
I attended a funeral and in some way, I guess, it was the last step to being something like an atheist. I had the pressing urge of either shouting at the priest or running out of church... I did nothing of the kind, but yeah...
And it was the beginning of something... well I still don't quite know what I should call it. Sometimes I think I was a totally different person back then and in other times it's like I'm, again, almost the same as then. And I don't know if I should call it a terrible thing, if I should be indifferent to it, or if I should in some weird way treasure it.
But what I definitely know, by looking back at all what happened, is, that I'm lucky to have a friend who was always there for me these past years and even if I didn't confide in her all the time, it was still reassuring to know, that I could always spill my guts out and she would listen.

Und auch wenn ich das jetzt mal wieder nur schreibe und dir (assoziales Schwein, das ich ja nunmal bin) nicht ins Gesicht sage, meine Maus, ich hab dich sehr sehr sehr sehr lieb und bin froh, dass wir immer noch befreundet sind und hoffe dass das auch noch lange Zeit so bleibt. (Ich denke du weißt sowieso, dass du gemeint bist, wenn du es liest, aber das ist eigentlich nur für dich mein Tanjalein ;X)

Dun, dun, du~n

2007-03-03T19:12:18Z

I'm probably one of the rare livejournal users who don't like to post in their journal ^^*
But, since I promised to (at least try) to change this, here I am...

I honestly don't know what to write, so, bear with the fangirl-rambling X3

I just read that the 4th season of NCIS is starting tomorrow... imagine... new season... and I didn't even watch it in English yet...and don't even know if I want to.
I watched the first 5 minutes of Shalom and had to turn it off cuz, really, Tony accidentally grabbing the wrong clothes while over at Gibbs' COULD be an explanation for the absolutely horrible picture of him...well... wearing Gibbs' clothes but...but...
And I've seen pictures of THE mustache... X_x
I think I almost died... and absolutely not in the "omg-that's-so-hot"-way. I mean... the beard? Ok, I could live with that. He was hotter without it, but *shrugs* it's still kinda ok. But that unbearable, ugly, so totally unfitting mustache? NO WAY! You gotta be kidding me >_>
How can they do this to poor, innocent fangirls, huh? HUH? U_U

And I finally understand why my mom hates to sew things with darts, 'cuz it's just so annoying and time-stealing. I could at least have all the parts ready and could start with actually sewing that dress together tomorrow, if it wasn't for those stupid things. You sit there like... half an hour and accomplish NOTHING...niente...nada... (at least almost nothing =_=)
You STILL have to stitch 'em together with tacking threads before you can do a real seam.
ANNOYING!

(*lach* ich hoffe du bist zufrieden mit mir, süße, immerhin hab ich geposted, nicht sinnvoll, aber... *chu~*)